#i wish i could hear you tell me you loved me again even if you didnt mean it

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐮 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  nosferatu  (2024),  directed  by  robert  eggers.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit.  ) 

❛ come to me. ❜

❛ a guardian angel. a spirit of comfort. spirit of any celestial sphere. anything. hear my call. ❜

❛ you wakened me from an eternity of darkness. ❜

❛ you are not for the living. you are not for human kind. ❜

❛ and shall you be one with me ever-eternally? ❜

❛ come here. there’s nothing to be afraid of. ❜

❛ i wish i could stay, my love. ❜

❛ why have you killed these beautiful flowers? ❜

❛ i must tell you my dream. ❜

❛ i’d never been so happy as that moment… as i held hands with death. ❜

❛ i wish you to have all you deserve. ❜

❛ you mustn’t leave. i love you too much. ❜

❛ i will stay with you until you are fast asleep. ❜

❛ uh, forgive me. i only wish to stay one night. ❜

❛ by god’s name, never speak of that castle. ❜

❛ i banish you, i banish you with garlic. ❜

❛ beware of his shadow. ❜

❛ the shadow covers you in a nightmare. ❜

❛ you are late. the midnight hour has passed. ❜

❛ i wish you to do as i request. ❜

❛ i will be addressed as the honor of my blood demands it.❜

❛ speak not of it again! ❜

❛ take heed what you do. ❜

❛ i might ease your wound. ❜

❛ come by the fire. ❜

❛ your face shows you unwell. ❜

❛ do you ever feel at times as if you were not… as if you were not a person? ❜

❛ look at the sky. look at the sea. does it never call to you, urge you? ❜

❛ you are fortunate in your love. ❜

❛ now are we neighbors. ❜

❛ it is late. you must wish to retire. ❜

❛ i have been enduring the most irregular dreams. i fear i am taken ill. ❜

❛ it is a black omen to journey in poor health. you will remain and well rest yourself. ❜

❛ dream of me. only me. ❜

❛ oh, he’s coming to me. ❜

❛ i cannot resist you, my love. ❜

❛ i am no one. i am his servant. ❜

❛ look, this is a pretty one. his lordship likes the pretty ones… ❜

❛ you are lost in his shadow. ❜

❛ soon i will no longer be a shadow to you. ❜

❛ soon our flesh shall embrace and we shall be as one. ❜

❛ i have not failed your lordship! ❜

❛ embrace me, my boy. i am so rejoiced to see you. ❜

❛ my dear creature, yes, i am he, and i am hither come to help you. ❜

❛ my dreams grow darker. ❜

❛ does evil come from within us or from beyond? ❜

❛ i shall persist to join you every night… first in sleep, then in your arms. ❜

❛ everything will be mixed with abomination, and you’ll be knee-deep in blood. ❜

❛ you are promised to me! ❜

❛ i will end this plague. this devil. ❜

❛ he hasn’t found you. ❜

❛ i feared i’d never see you again. ❜

❛ you shall crave of me nothing. ❜

❛ the bells of dawn shall toll in despair of my coming. and i shall taste of you. ❜

❛ pray, forgive me for all the troubles i have caused you. ❜

❛ i am only glad you have become yourself again. ❜

❛ may i… stay with you tonight? ❜

❛ this creature is a force more powerful than evil. it is death itself. ❜

❛ i have seen things in this world that would’ve made isaac newton crawl back into his mother’s womb. ❜

❛ i have wrestled with the devil as jacob wrestled the angel in peniel. ❜

❛ if we are to tame darkness, we must first face that it exists. ❜

❛ i have felt you crawling like a serpent in my body. ❜

❛ love is inferior to you. ❜

❛ i told you, you are not of humankind. ❜

❛ i am an appetite. nothing more. ❜

❛ i lay within the darkest pit. till you did wake me, enchantress, and stirred me from my grave. ❜

❛ you are my affliction. ❜

❛ i care nothing of your afflictions. ❜

❛ yet even now we are fated. ❜

❛ your passion is bound to me. ❜

❛ you cannot love. ❜

❛ yet i cannot be sated without you. ❜

❛ remember how once we were? ❜

❛ i abhor you. ❜

❛ i will leave you three nights. tonight was the first. ❜

❛ tonight you denied yourself, and thereby, you suffer me to vanish up the lives of those you love. ❜

❛ you revel in my torture. ❜

❛ upon the third night, you will submit, or he you call your husband shall perish by my hand. ❜

❛ till you bid me come shall you watch the world become as naught. ❜

❛ tell me, what is this insufferable darkness? ❜

❛ nothing you can say will shake me, for there is a devil in this world, and i have met him. ❜

❛ i’ve brought this evil upon us. ❜

❛ i sought company. i sought… tenderness, and i called out. ❜

❛ at first, it was sweet. i had never known such bliss. yet it turned to torture. ❜

❛ it was you that gave me the courage to be free of my shame. ❜

❛ he took me as his lover then, and now he has come back. ❜

❛ all my sleeping thoughts are of him every night. ❜

❛ don’t touch me! i am not to be touched. ❜

❛ i’ll be good. i promise. ❜

❛ you could never please me as he could. ❜

❛ yes! take me! ❜

❛ kiss me. kiss my heart. ❜

❛ let him see. let him see our love. ❜

❛ without you, i will become a demon. ❜

❛ you’re safe with me. ❜

❛ keep away from me. i am unclean. ❜

❛ he will murder you if i do not go to him. ❜

❛ kill him i will. he shall never harm you again. ❜

❛ i can weep no longer, for i have no more tears to shed. ❜

❛ the grim reaper wields his heavy scythe with every change of wind. ❜

❛ the monster left you to the wolves, yet you prevailed. ❜

❛ his pull to me is so powerful, so terrible, yet my spirit cannot be evil as his. ❜

❛ we must know evil to be able to destroy it. ❜

❛ you are our salvation. ❜

❛ i bid you, come to me. ❜

❛ your oath re-pledged. so too shall be our flesh. you are mine. ❜

[sammyluvr]

✶ do you one better — emily prentiss

cw : gn!reader, bau!reader, fluff, flirting, kissing, unedited, 638 words. requested ! for my 900 followers event [ closed ] .

prompt : a seaside town + “it is pretty. i think you’re very pretty, too.”

emily lives in london now. she’s so far away, all the time, and at least five hours ahead of you. but you’ve come to visit her, and have even managed to drag her away from the city. she has plenty of vacation days, but she’s a workaholic, just like you. even so, it was easy to make the choice to take a break to fly out, and surprisingly easy to get her to agree to take a day off to run away to the seaside with you.

as expected, it’s a dreary day, but you think that the fog and ocean waves and red-orange gabled roofs all look lovely together. the water churns, stormier than the sky, and the salty air prickles your nose. the town is random and practically useless in terms of tourist attractions. you don’t mind one bit. it’s nicer that way, nothing to distract you from her save this simple, but charming view. you get to stare at the english ocean and listen to her talk at the same time.

the railing you lean against is cold, the black paint chipping, and her standing so close to you that the wind whips her hair into your face when it gives a particularly strong gust. the hills behind you roll and the grass grows wild and long.

“i know there’s not much here,” she says, sort of regretfully because part of her thinks she should’ve shown you something grander, “but i thought you might like it. but, i mean, tomorrow’s saturday, so if you wanna see something else, i could take you.”

you turn from the ocean view to meet her eyes with a grateful smile. she’s already looking at you. “this is perfect, em. you were right to think i’d like it. you know me well. though i’d love to go somewhere with you tomorrow, too. anywhere.”

she grins back, relieved that you like it, excited that you’ve said aloud that you’d love to go anywhere with her. “good.” she turns to watch a wave shatter against the tiny little set of cliffs just a ways off from the town edge. “it’s pretty, isn’t it?”

you nod, despite the fact that she’s not looking at you anymore. you’re still looking at her. her damn nose, the straight line of her bangs, her shoulders relaxed for once. at first, you just hum in agreement. “mhmm… it is pretty.” it’s cliche, you know, and maybe a bit bolder than you should be, but you can’t help it. it’s allowed; she’s not technically in the bau anymore, though you wish she were. “i think you’re pretty too.” her head tilts back to you with this lopsided smile, sort of confused as she tries to figure out if you’re just complimenting her out of the blue, or flirting. it’s not too hard to tell which, by the way you said it.

“thanks,” she says, voice quieting as she tests the waters.

you hum again, and give a dip of your chin. “you’re gorgeous, em.”

“are you flirting with me right now?” she raises a brow. she knows that she’s gorgeous, she hears it often and has plenty of confidence. but hearing it from you makes her want to drop eye contact and bite her lip, just for a moment before collecting herself.

“are you seriously asking that?” you tease, “don’t lie and tell me you’ve forgotten how to read behavior since you’ve gotten here. yeah, i’m flirting with you. you gonna flirt back?”

she narrows her eyes at you teasingly. “i think i can do you one better.” you don’t have to be a profiler to get the hint, and in seconds, her lips are on yours. if that feeling wasn’t all consuming, you’d be thinking about the logistics of quitting your job and moving across the ocean.

[lilacstro]

★this might be the night that my dreams might let me know, all the stars are closer"★. pac: what to expect next in life

hey guys! long time no see! I wanted to post this pac on new years but I just....didn't.

anyways, I hope you enjoy this one. drop suggestions in the ask box!

PS: I saw 9 of cups in all of the piles, and this tells me maybe all the collective together is going to have a wish fulfillment soon! that's so sweet haha

support me on ko-fi

Paid readings open

₊˚ʚ Pile 1 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: some of you here might be quitting something. There is a "bid adieu" kind of energy here. There also seems to be a throat chakra blockage, maybe you are unable to speak, maybe due to throat issues, cold, flu or even could be engaging in frequent arguments. An advice for you regardless is taking time to think before you speak. Some of you here might also be having trauma resurface. There could be trust/confidence issues as well. Some of you here might also be going through third eye activation. There may also be trouble in engaging things you want to, making time and space for things. You may be having nightmares or such kind of thoughts stemming from past, your family lineage or even trauma.

what's next: for some of you here, who were leaving something, or someone behind, good call, it is the right thing to do. I am hearing "everything that has ever been lost will always be replaced by something better". There would be a lot of options making themselves available to you. You have divine luck, divine protection. One more thing that is coming through is that a fake relationship would fall off, especially if it is with a women. Some of you may also have a change of personality, going from a "I'm a boss bitch" types to going into more serene energy, more calm and collected. Mind you, I do not mean to say there's anything wrong with either :) For those of you who want it, there are options in love coming through as well. For some of you, you may as well have many options in love, think clearly though because one of them may end up being your true love. There would be a lot of emotional healing coming through. For those of you who have been "used" to feeling numb, your heart would open again, just use your thinking and think clearly, please. One of your heartfelt wishes, one you had a lot of attachment to may be coming true as well. It is also possible to hear an apology from someone, especially if they are a water sign.

₊˚ʚ Pile 2 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: while shuffling these cards I had a feeling of "money" being important to this group. Either you gained money, lost it, are investing it or maybe you are planning to make a significant purchase. Pile 3 maybe important as well. Some of you may also be in a mental hole. Feeling trapped or burdened by something. Someone here could have also gone through a hardship in romantic connection, a heartbreak or could have seen the options they anticipated not work out, making a wrong choice. Some of you here might also be struggling with making changes in your day to day life, which can be as big as moving countries or as small as working out everyday. Holding on to ideas, people, memories or routines you know you should let go of.

what's next: I see a wonderful opportunity for financial gains presenting itself to you. You may be afraid or nervous to take it, but go after it, Pile 2. Do not get confused though. Apart from this you may also see new bonds being strengthening with friends and people you meet, more confidence and charisma. You'd appear attractive and reliable, and if you are someone who is anxious socially or likes being alone, you would come out of the shell and enjoy life, enjoy people. For people who are going through a breakup, especially, getting over this person may be the best thing to do. It may take a while, but there is wonderful things awaiting you. If you can subscribe to this description of this person being extremely manipulative with their words, it's even more of a confirmation. For others of you, do not sabotage things coming to you. If its love, luck, money, travel. A wish is about to come true but maybe not exactly how you thought it would. For example, money may come in form of an idea, meeting someone important may come in form of having this feeling of going to that place or saying hi to that person etc. So do not sabotage your blessings by being in a warzone mentally always :)

₊˚ʚ Pile 3 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: Some of you here may be working out a lot. Listening to motivational music. Some of you might also be growing more towards calmer things and ideas, maybe yoga, spiritual retreats in mountains etc. I get why there was a connection between pile 2 and 3, because yet again there seems to be a feeling of being deceived in love, or feeling as if the wish came true but it was a façade. Some of you might also have received a promotion at work, or may have been taking too much workload, maybe even creating an imbalance. There could be arguments on this. Some of you may have "severed ties" with something, maybe a habit, an idea, or a person, but regardless it seems for the best. Birds may be important. I would say watch out for people who try to appear "way too sweet" and try to get under your skin the meanwhile. There could have been a connection which was off balance, especially the masculine energy which could've led to the spiritual awakening of the feminine energy.

what's next: There seems to be a LOT of things that seem to be coming for you pile 3. Before I type next, I heard "revolution starts within", makes sense since I am seeing a lot of reversals in your reading. You need to step out of your mind and body for a while, or atleast strike a balance to be able to experience the real world. "You are not running out of time" is one another message I heard. You will find your spark again, very very soon. Being full of energy, exciting things in life, that once felt dull and lifeless. A period of stagnation is ending. You would be given a way to live this exciting time, but you have to act on it yourself. "Do not be afraid of judgement or being cringey" Maybe you wanted to start a venture, an account, YouTube, do it! Because there is indeed some change coming into your career and financial situation which is divine. A wish is about to come true. Do not "force" change or your energy levels on yourself, let it take time. There is a lot of healing happening for you, especially if you were hurt by someone or something in the past. Things are about to get soo good. Spring after a winter.

[iprefervillains]

book club hangster?! please share more

Book club Hangster entered my mind at the start of the new year and hasn't left it yet.

Basically they both like to read and somehow this escalates from them swapping books on a carrier once to sending all kinds of random books they pick up on employment halfway across the world for the other to read.

They leave annotations and reviews for the other and sometimes spent hours skyping or emailing about the books. They read, discuss and banter. It's their thing, their way of bonding and falling in love even though they don't like each other (lie!) and aren't even in the same part of the world most of the time.

It's mostly vibes right now but some ideas for this include:

Bradley hating thrillers and Jake picking up some weird Scandinavian psycho thriller when it is his turn some time before the mission just to be an ass. It's the real reason for the "early grave" comment, the book scared Bradley shitless.

Jake having a concussion after his air-to-air kill and Bradley calling him up to read him a new book over the phone. It helps with the boredom and the nightmares.

Bradley has a special bookshelf where he keeps all the books Jake send to him. They are scribbled full (Bradley adds his own comments even though Jake won't see them) to the point where he awkwardly purchases a second copy of a book he already owns because he doesn't want to lend Phoenix his copy.

They spent one Christmas when they are both temporarily stationed in San Diego quietly sitting on the couch in the Bradshaw bungalow, each in their own corner, silently reading a book and making notes and then swapping books the next day to do it again, before loudly discussing them on the second Christmas day.

They have soo many inside jokes, most importantly: "this could be us but you playing" noted to either the most hilariously bad romance scenes or totally unhinged conversations between characters or people killing their enemies.

Sometimes they challenge each other to only speak in quotes without anyone else noticing

Bradley ends up confessing his love for Jake by putting one of those romance novels that has a life shattering confession scenes and ends with either one or both characters dying on Jake's bed before he leaves for the mission with the confession highlighted and the words "I wish I would have been brave enough to tell you too instead of being a coward. I'm so sorry, Jake ♥". Needless to say Jake ends up totally pissed when he gets to the point in the book on the way back to shore because this is such a dick move and storms the medbay in the middle of the night to rip Bradley a new one.

Honestly I just love the idea of them having a share passion to bond over. A soft kind of love, you wouldn't expect at first, especially when you hear them loudly arguing about the right flight style.

There is more if you want @intrepidjourneys, it might take me some time to write though.

[afyrian]

☆ hit rewind

sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader (mostly angst) m.list | wc: 1.8k | prompts: road trip + (kinda) second chances

   “you are such an ass atsumu,” you toss your backpack onto the couch, hands rising to press against your eyes and temples.

  “this is why i didn’t tell you, because you’d want to ditch, when you know it’ll be fun!” atsumu follows you into the apartment, shutting the door behind him so that your guests wouldn’t hear the two of you arguing over something that involves one of them.

  groaning, you look back at him, eyes wide, “yeah no wonder! you invited my ex to our trip and never even gave me a chance to process it. atsumu, i cannot go on a trip with him, and i especially cannot sit beside him and act like everything is okay.”

  “then don’t! you don’t have to talk to him, but we’ve had this planned for forever and you can’t back out now,” atsumu walks over to you, opening his arms for a hug that you know you shouldn’t give him.

  in the many times that atsumu has brought annoyance to your life, this was by far the worst for you. sakusa standing by the car, barely seeing you before you ran back into the building. he looked the same from when you last saw him (besides his many appearances in the news). however, something about him looked more somber. headphones blocked out the world, eyes shrouded in darkness by sunglasses. even a cloud covers the sun to perfectly cover him in dramatic shadows. 

  but you’re inclined to forgive atsumu, knowing everything he does is done with love. “alright… but if i start bawling in that car you’re not blaming me,” you wrap your arms around him, feeling his wrap around yours in a warm embrace.

  “i’ll kick sakusa out if it comes to that. now, let’s go on this trip and have some fun, which i know you can have,” atsumu pulls back, reaching for your bag and grabbing it to carry it to the car. 

  following him slowly, you lock the apartment door behind you. the key is cold in your hand, sharp and tingly beneath your touch. every step you take towards the building’s front door feels like you carry more and more weight. you feel sluggish as you can see his outline behind the car, practically feeling his hand in yours again. opening the door, you stare out at him, lips forming into a straight line.

  “let’s get this road trip started!”

  hearing atsumu’s voice feel comforting, in a way you would never admit. stepping into the large sedan, you look forward to see osamu staring at his phone. “osamu, you packed some of that onigiri, right? because i don’t think i can make this road trip without it,” you tap his shoulder, leaning forward before you buckle yourself in.

  “of course, and you brought black sesame cookies?”

  “you know me too well,” you sit back into your spot, staring out at your window as you hear the door beside you open.

  it rings through your ear, like an annoying mosquito you wish you could swat away. a bag is set next to you, pressing up against your leg. you know it’s his, you can see the badges sewn onto it, the tournaments that he won. sakusa’s gaze bores into you like you’ve never felt before. and all you can do is wait patiently until either you fall asleep or he does.

 it doesn’t come quick enough for you to finally feel at peace with him at your side. after nearly an hour of driving, you know that there’s much more to come. however, looking down at your phone, you hope that some quiet time will help suppress your feelings of betrayal and disappointment. especially when atsumu’s music choices are anything but somber. 

  looking up from your phone, you can see atsumu’s eyes in the rear view mirror. they’re wide and staring right back at you. watching, you can see his head nod towards where sakusa is sitting, eyes shifting wildly to help get your attention. your eyes dart towards sakusa. he’s sitting with his head in his hand, headphones covering his ears as his hair pokes out from beneath. 

  sakusa’s elbow rests against the door and your heartbeat quickens. seeing him again hurts, relaxing like he always did in your bed, the same headphones blaring soft music into his ears. as if he can feel your gaze blanketing him, he looks up and your gaze flickers back to atsumu’s rear view mirror. you’re not sure if he saw your eyes on him, if he could feel what you feel, but you definitely know that seeing him again is not what you wanted for this road trip.

  atsumu’s eyes meet yours once more and he raises his eyebrows. your jaw clenches before you lightly shake your head, staring back out your window. it’s mostly views of green hills and foliage. a mild hatred begins to boil within you, thinking of the last time you saw each other. the way he tried to hold your hand, run his thumb across your cheek in a trial run to reconciliation. the tears that fell from your chin and buried deep within your soul. 

  you knew it was only a matter of time until you saw him again, having the same friends and all. however, it’s like you’re back to the same spot, his old bedroom. the air was filled with a cologne-like scent, hints of sandalwood and caramel coating your nose. you see his volleyball jerseys hung up on his wall, something you urged him to do, to see how he’s grown. now all you can see are those jerseys wilted and crumbling beneath his touch.

  looking back at him, you can see him doing the same. meeting his eyes, it’s intoxicating. and you can quickly remember how you fell into his embrace so early on. the both of you turn back away, him pulling down his headphones, silence beneath the music for just a moment, “how are you?”

  his voice is just nearly a whisper, like he didn’t want anyone else to hear. for anyone else to realize that he misses you, despite the only other two people in the car in-tuned to his feelings. “i’m okay… still running the bakery. sharing trade secrets with osamu,” you look up towards the twins sitting in front, head turning back to sakusa, “uh- how’s the team?”

  you can almost see him wince as you ask about the rest of the team and not him. “they’re good, although i’m sure atsumu has already told you,” sakusa purses his lips, shrugging his shoulders to appear nonchalant.

  “yeah, yeah he has. how about you? i know a lot of them are prepping for the national team tryouts,” clasping your hands together, you keep your eyes everywhere but where his is, biting your lip to keep your mind off of things.

  “i’m good, i mean not really but you know what i mean.”

  shaking your head, you look back out your window. the scenery looks the same, the same rolling hills with the same trees still sprouting along the road. “no, sakusa, i don’t know. and i will never know, and that’s just how it’s always gonna be,” your jaw clenches gaze darting back towards him. 

  atsumu, acting like he couldn’t hear you beneath the music, quickly announces that you’re gonna stop at a pit stop. you don’t need anything from the break, but having a moment with everyone out of the car will be nice, give you a time with just some good old fashioned peace and quiet. 

  the gas station is quiet, no other cars in sight on this lonely monday. “alright, i’m heading in, any snacks?”

  “could i get some pretzels or chips? you know what i like,” you look up at atsumu, gaze flickering to sakusa, noticing him furrowing his eyebrows.

  there’s something satisfying seeing him upset about your closeness with atsumu. seeing him squirm in his spot because he’s the one that let you go, not everyone else. osamu pipes in quickly after too, obviously eager to escape the awkwardness. “i’ll head in too. hopefully find something to drink that isn’t stacked full with caffeine…”

  both shut their doors behind them, leaving only you and sakusa. a part of you hoped that he would’ve left the car with them, instead of bringing in a palpable tension that lingers in your lungs. you stare out your window, steadying your breath despite feeling your heart nearly jumping out of your chest. every sour part of you wants to look back at him. but every knowledgeable part of you knows otherwise.

  “can we just talk-”

  “sakusa… please don’t bring it up.”

  “y/n, i just want to know what really happened. i feel like we just left and nothing was every actually solved, like a real relationship should be.”

  “what are you talking about? i just wanted to be loved, okay? i loved you so much, i felt it so hard in my heart,” you turn to look at him, one hand pressed against his bag, the other bawled up in a fist against your chest, “and all you ever did was leave. emotionally, physically. and it hurt, and god it hurt so much! but it’s over now.”

  sakusa reaches his hand for yours, stopping when he sees your hand recline slowly. “i don’t want it to be over, and i did love you, i still love you-”

  “stop it, sakusa. you don’t still love me, we are just seeing each other after a long time and it stirs things up,” you shake your head, staring at him, feeling your toes curl within your shoes.

  “i have loved you since the day i met you and i have never stopped, do not discredit that. do not discredit that it was just not the right time for us but it could be now,” sakusa takes his headphones off his neck and hang them on the back of the seat between you. 

  “this is the most passionate you have ever been about our relationship and that’s saying something. every time you say you love me, it breaks my heart. and the worst part? i’d always let you break my heart. so, please, stop. before we do something we both regret,” you bite your lip, eyebrows furrowing, eyes blinking to try to rid them of any heavy tears.

  sakusa scoots his hand towards yours, finally noticing that you’re not moving away. intertwining his fingers with yours, he nods, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. “then let’s just sit here, i don’t want to break your heart again. i never did.”

  “deep down i know. i always have, so, i’m content with sitting here with you. you can’t really regret hand holding, can you?”

  “i never could with you.”

a/n: happy birthday @lale-txt <33 was gonna apologize for the angst but i know you like it so I won’t 👀 but anyways ily i hope your birthday has been splendid gen. taglist (open): @maybespiderman @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon

@nekozaki @nnnyxie @kameyyy @cherrysurf

[patchworkcuddlebug]

Words Unsaid

[This story contains knifeplay and accidental harm]

She grabs the ring on her doll's back, and gently pulls it out.

It's slow, deliberately slow, making her doll writhe and whine in silent anticipation. Only after pulling it out about halfway did she prompt it to speak.

"Do you like to talk, dolly?"

As the string slowly snaked back into the doll's body, it felt its voice welling up inside it. Only now could it summon the will, the ability, to speak.

"Yes, this one loves to talk!" It spoke happily, with a giddy nervousness. "This one is very happy that it gets to speak, Miss. It like to let oth-"

The doll's words faded as the base of the ring landed against its back.

"Oh, poor thing, did I not pull it far enough?" There's a deep glee in Miss's voice, something sadistic. "You still had so much you wanted to say! Should I pull it harder next time?"

The sound of the string being unwound fills the doll's body. At any moment, it feels like it could reach its end, only for a sharp tug to signify it's been fully stretch. It's like a tender nerve, massaged into a line and kept aching for release...

"Yes, this one has so much to say!" It starts the second the string begins to recoil, before it could even think of what to say. "This one loves to tell you tons of things, Miss, thank you so much for pulling its string! It feels so nice to let its feelings out."

"Feelings~?" She mocks. "What kind of feelings does a doll have? You're a toy, I could cut you up and you'd thank me."

Slowly, gently, pulled out... and released.

"Um, yes Miss! But only because this one loves you very much, and it would know you cut it up because you love it too!"

"Such a good doll!" There's a tremble, as the doll hears the scrape of a knife against a table, being picked up. It turns around to "Eyes forward, doll." It only sees the tip of the knife before obeying.

Slowly, much slower, being pulled out. Once it reaches its end, pulling taut against the doll, there's a pressure. Something sharp pressing against its sensitive nerve.

"Would you thank me if I cut this little tongue of yours out, dolly?"

Release.

"Ahhh...!" an involuntary shudder, a waste of precious breath. "Y-yes Miss, it would thank you for anything, but... please don't, please, it loves to talk with you Miss, it loves the feeling of its string being pulled...!"

She pulls out an inch. "Light?"

"Green."

In an instant, her malicious bravado returns. "Oh, you greedy little thing. This is all about you, isn't it?" Much more sudden, much more rough, the string is yanked out, making the doll want to yelp. Again, that pressure returns, that sharpness, that-

Ping!

The doll shudders as its back arches, eyes wide with fright. It feels the cord slowly begin to sink back inside of it. It is much lighter than before.

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I swear to God I didn't mean to! Are you okay?" The person stammers as she lets the knife clatter to the floor, next to the doll's discarded ring.

"This one... doesn't..." The doll turns to face the person as she rushes to hold it, her arms wrapping around her plush and pulling it close. The doll continues, each word more hurried than the last. "I-it's okay, it's okay, it was this one's idea, w-we can... you can fix this, right? This o-"

As the string recedes fully, burying itself into the doll's back, its voice seizes. Its throat closes, awkwardly tight, as its mouth is left open. It tries desperately to claw out something, anything more, but all that comes out are hollow breaths.

"Oh, god, dolly..." she hugs her beloved toy back. "I'm so sorry, I swear I never wanted this to happen, I thought I... I thought I'd be more careful."

Her voice hangs in the silence, dripping with guilt. The doll's fears, its terror for losing its voice, is set aside to try and comfort its love. There's so much it wishes it could say.

. . . . .

The doll sits, with its knees to its chest. The smell of fish permeates through the whole apartment. Miss has cooked every day since the accident.

She brings out a plate with a two fishes worth of meat, fresh chopped vegetables and a side of rice. "It's ready!" she calls out, forcing cheer.

It wants to remark that it feels like it should be the one cooking. It wants to say that it understands Miss's guilt and wants her to feel better. It wants to tell her she has nothing to make up for.

She sits on the couch beside the doll and cuts off a slice of meat. "Ready for the taste test?" She says ritualistically, the hint of melancholy stronger than the day before. The doll nods with a smile.

Napkin in one hand and fork in the other, Miss brings some fish up to this one's closed mouth. "Om nom nom..." she says as she dabs the food against the doll's closed lips.

Its eyes widen in shock as it pulls its head away. Oh, wow. That has to be a new spice, there's a flavour it can't place without a name. It... wants to ask what she added to the fish this time, as Miss cleans the doll's mouth.

"Oh, is it okay?" She seems worried. "Sorry if it didn't turn out well, I kinda tried..." she trails off, looking ashamed.

Inside, the doll panics. Should it nod, trying to reassure her? Or should it shake its head, telling her not to be ashamed? Thinking quick, it points to the food and gives a thumbs up.

"Oh! Oh, well, I'm glad you liked it then, thank you." Her smile seems... nervous as she reacts to the doll's silent gesture, the silence that she forced upon it.

As she leaned over for another bite, the doll couldn't stop itself from hugging her. It's okay, please don't be sad. I love you.

"You don't have to hug me... if you don't want to, dolly." She takes a shallow breath, looking away. "I did something really awful to you, I really can't blame you for being upset."

The doll closed its eyes and hugged her tighter.

. . . . .

It's here.

The words echo through her head like a mantra. It's here, it's here, it's here.

She bursts into the bedroom, package brandished under her arms. "Dolly, dolly it's here! Your string!"

The doll was on the couch, right where she left it. In the minutes since their cuddle broke, it found stillness, only for it to be broken with the burst of energy welling inside of it.

It's been days. Days of desperate silence. Days where all it could do was listen and act. Days where all it could do was be cuddled and cuddle back, only hoping it was doing enough. Never asking if everything has okay, never asking if there was more it could do, never responding, never engaging. All it could do was watch her suffer.

That changes now.

The doll lays down on its front, just as was rehearsed. Miss crouches down beside it, seam ripper in hand. "Remember just tap on the couch if it starts to hurt, okay?" she reassures, to which the doll can only give a thumbs-up.

The cutting doesn't feel like how it expected. It's not a painful rip, but a clean release of form. It feels unfamiliar, having its side opened up, the cloth of its skin hanging loose in the air, but so unfamiliar that it can't be placed to a single feeling.

Then, Miss reaches her hand inside. Its stuffing is so, so tender, never meant to be touched. As she feels around for its voice box, the doll can't help but writhe and grip the couch's cushion. But the brave little doll didn't tap out.

As the voice box is unfastened and pulled out, the doll feels the lack of weight it leaves behind. The emptiness feels dreary and unwelcoming, something missing where it should be. "You did a wonderful job, dolly, thank you." Miss runs a hand through its hair.

The doll keeps its eyes closed as it hears the sound of a screwdriver prying at plastic, just as it was told it would want to. But as the moments pass in silence after, it can't help but look. It knows it shouldn't, but it can't stop its head from turning... seeing a string, the entire length of string. It's so long, one end being... tied into place, wrapped around a plastic spool... the doll silently groans and looks away, feeling sick to its stomach.

Moment after moment of weary anticipation. Miss recites every tutorial in her head, the ones she's researched over and over, to be as careful as she can be.

The pull of a string... and the sound of an empty speaker. Out of habit, the doll perks up, trying to speak, only to feel the emptiness where the voice box should be more than ever.

"Oh, dolly, please stay still!" Miss ushers it back flat with her free hand. She hurries to pack some of the stuffing it lost through its movements back where it belongs, only for it to writhe some more. Every jolt, every pang of pain reminds her of the accident. "Sorry, it's almost done, I promise!"

Hands inside it, feeling around and holding the box in place. Feeding the string through the much wider opening in its back, clipping it back into place, stuffing stray fluff back inside, and finally being sewn shut. The final bits of cloth finally sewn back together, the doll is allowed to sit back up. It takes only a moment to feel the stitching along its side with its mitten. It's... perfect, as if the operation never happened.

Miss sat beside it, taking a moment to brace herself. "I know how you probably feel, I... want you to say whatever's on your mind, no matter how you feel, okay?" She wrenches her eyes closed, unable to look at her doll's face. "Please don't bottle it up, I promise, all I want is for you to get it off your chest."

She was scared. She would never admit it, but she almost didn't want to hear what the poor doll had to say after all this time. Days upon days where it ruminated on its voice being stolen, on being trapped in its own mind, no way to express its thoughts.

She slowly, gently, pulled the string back... and let go.

"I love you!" it blurted out, completely without restraint. The widest smile it could summon burst across its face. It couldn't help but turn around and hug its love, counting out every response it had missed. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you I love you I love you I love you..."

Its mouth kept moving, even as the string dug into place in its back. The doll impatiently reaches behind itself and yanks out another lengths.

"You're so good at cooking and this one is sorry it couldn't help you find your shoes the other day and its so thankful you always cuddle with it and lets it watch movies with you and it could never ever be mad at you!"

Miss was in disbelief, frozen in place. "Oh, dolly..." is all she could muster as she hugged her doll back. "I love you too, I love you so much, I'm so sorry for ever hurting you, I promise I'll never do it again!"

Pulling an arm away from the hug, only for a moment, she gently pulls and releases the doll's string.

"It's okay, Miss, this one promises it's okay, it completely forgives you!" The doll nuzzles its face into the nape of Miss's neck, hugging her tighter as she begins to tear up.

But as the string continues to wind back up, the doll continues to speak. "And, um, please don't feel bad about the accident, it was actually really fun before that! We can still try again!"

Miss chuckled, just a little. "Maybe... but not very soon. For now, I just want you to talk to me, okay dolly?"

A gentle pull, and release.

"Yes Miss, this one would love to, thank you so much...!"

So, as the doll babbled into the night, Miss sat there behind it, pulling its string every time she needed to. They would fall asleep in each other's embrace, long into the night, with no words left unsaid.

[wlwsoccerfics]

Love is Happiness (Tuva Hansen/Lena Oberdorf/Lea Schüller)

Warnings: migraines, mentions of throwing up

Summary: Lea isn't feeling very well cause she has a migraine and her two favorite brunettes make sure to take very good care of her.

Lea did regret going to practice today even after both of her girlfriends told her it was okay to stay home since she looked quite pale. But the blonde insisted on going and that the air would make her feel better. Spoiler Alert! It didn't help at all. It made things worse. She almost fainted after they practiced Corners and she did a Header. It got in but she also felt like her head was about to fall off, her vision was really blurry and she was starting to walk wobbly. That didn't go unoticed by the Team and especially not Lena & Tuva.

Lea was close to crying and fainting from the pain but Tuva quickly catched her, holding her up. "Lea! Babe that's it i am taking you home." she told her, picking up the blonde to carry her. Lena was next to them quite fast as well. "Let me grab our stuff while you get her to the car, Love?" Lena suggested gently. Carefully Kissing Lea's forhead before Kissing Tuvas. "Alright." The Team sent them Home with 'well wishes' for Lea.

Tuva helped her blonde girlfriend into the Backseat of her car. Kissing her forehead. "It will be okay love." She whispered out. "It hurts alot." Lea breathed out, fresh tears followed that revelation. She gently grabbed onto Tuvas hand. "Sit with me, lovely?" Lea almost begged so the brunette ended up in the backseat with her. Not that she didn't have planned on sitting next to Lea anyways . Tuva held the blonde carefully in the arms. "Close your eyes, beautiful. I am here! Get some rest!" Lea didn't need to be told twice and fell asleep, leaning against Tuva. Lena drove them home in Tuvas car.

When they reached their home, Lena scooped a sleeping Lea into her arms while Tuva opened the front foor for her girlfriends. Lena was being very careful not to wake Lea. Lying her down in their shared bed. Taking the Blondes shoes off and then her own. Lena & Tuva laid down on each side of them. They cuddled her close. Letting her sleep. Both Tuva & Lena stayed awake. Cause they wanted to be there when Lea needed something. It broke their Hearts to hear the blonde whimper in her sleep.

It took like an hour before she woke up and felt so sick that Tuva and Lena both helped her to the bathroom just in time because she had to throw up quite alot. Lena held back the blondes hair while Tuva was rubbing her back gently. "It's okay love, we got you!" Lena whispered out. Making sure to speak in a very gentle volume because she knew how much loud noises made things worse for her girlfriend. "Thank you, to both of you." She breathed out and leaned against them after she was done vomiting. Lea was hiding her face in Tuvas arm while grabbing a hold of Lenas hand. Squeezing it gently. "You don't have to thank us. We would do anything for you!" Tuva replied. "Tuvi is right, we would do whatever it takes to make you happy." Lena told her. "I am happy. Cause Love is Happiness and the two of you have so much love to give!" Lea explained, her voice still weak but full of Love as well, she meant what she said.

After helping Lea up from the floor and helping her brush her teeth Lena helped her back to bed while Tuva made a tea for Lea to help her with her upset stomach. Later on Lea was taking a bath and took another round of her migraine medication. She was starting to feel alot better a few hours later, thanks to her two amazing girlfriends.

The next day she could even go back to Training but she had to promise both Lena & Tuva that she would tell them when she wasn't feeling well and not wait until her migraine was in full swing again.

(If you want to read more about these three together let me know.)

[sewliia]

Magnus Archives Episode 154 / 200 Analysis

(If this was mentioned by anyone before, I am sorry. I found one tumblr post showing the similarity in John's “Together - one way or another” but nothing more. So if you guys know more sources on this topic please share them with me. I would love to talk about this more.)

(also this is maybe a bit messy but I hope you guys see my vision)

I believe the Ending of the Magnus Archive was already decided in the episode “154 - Bloody Mary” or at least episode 200 is a parallel / continuation of the post statement scene.

I will show 154 in order while adding the matching parts from 200 (the parts from 200 are coloured differently to easily recognize them).

In 154 John learns that they can leave the Institut if they damage their eyes permanently.

After gaining this information he goes to Martin. He is the first to know.

(This one is not hard evidence - just something small I noticed)

(200) Martin is also the first to know what John did (also the only one).

(154) John then proposes to Martin that he wants to leave with him, because he trusts Martin and doesn't want to do it alone. He doesn't even consider the others here. He just wants to be with Martin.

This also plays into Jon's identity crisis in Season 4. Martin was there for him all the time and Jon values Martin's opinion more than the others, cause he loves him, cause he hopes Martin wants the same, cause he wants someone who gives him permission, to tell him what is right.

(200) Here we have it the other way around now. Martin trusted John not to kill Jonah on his own and John finally had the courage to do something on his own.

(154) Martins response is:

He doesn't want to choose for John, since he knows how insecure John is.

(200) John made it Martin's decision. He can’t kill himself at this point and already made his choice.

(154) This scenario is almost the same, just that the roles are partly swapped. In both cases they aren't sure if John will survive this, that it is a risk and a wish to escape.

Ending with the famous “one way or another” spoken again by John.

(154) After John proposes his idea to Martin he gets unsure, saying his idea was stupid. Martin says he has to see things through with Peter, which triggers John to try again.

(200) There is no exact line that fits this, but John derails everything by killing Jonah on his own.

(154) This one is interesting.

Martins says John would never blind himself. John indeed doesn’t want that. He wants to live, he wants to see and he likes his powers.

Blinding himself would be the easy way out.

In this season John fights a lot about his wants and his identity, so it makes sense that he asks the others for guidance and opinions. He is not sure what he really wants and even if it is okay to just take it. I am sure that John at this point loves Martin deeply and wants his input on the situation. He wants to hear “of course I come with you John”, but Martin denies that from him.

(200) At this point not even John's love for Martin holds him back and he does what he wants to do, going from “could” to “did”.

Martin is also in disbelief here, mirroring his and John’s words in 154.

you do - you didn’t

I could - you can’t

“I did. I am “

John is confident in this scene. He IS what he decided to be. He is whole.

(154) More evidence that even Martin doesn't believe John.

Again a parallel:

I can't follow you

Martin pushing Jon away ( to save him)

(200) Where you go I go.

John pushing martin away (to save him)

(and then changing his mind, accepting the proposal of escape)

In short:

(154)

John proposes to leave together.

Martin says John would and can not do that.

He won't make the decision for John.

Martin pushes John away.

John says he waits.

(200)

John does something that Martin dared him to do.

John tries to push Martin away.

Martin proposes to leave together.

Martin has to make the decision for John.

They stay together.

Maybe I went a bit crazy here but these scenes have so much in common.

[ivoryrebellionmess]

Spooky remorses IV

Part I Part 2 Part 3

Summary: You dated Jax for a year and a half, it was great. You fought sure, but that's a given if you´re both stubborn (and he's constantly in danger). Gemma didn't like the relationship, and she made sure that it ended. Now, months after the breakup, your friend takes you to a Halloween party that just happens to be SAMCRO´s.

warnings: 18+, mdni

A/N: I hope you like it, I´m so thankfull for every interaction with my posts. I love you guys so much <3

tw: foul language, kinda hooking up with your ex, jealous jax, smoking,a little bit of spice, alcohol, gemma being mean af

Word count: 5k

Staying alone in Jax´s room would only bring overthinking and second-guessing your presence there, so you decided to go search for a friendly face to distract you from every mistake you´d made in the last three hours.

The party was decaying fast, a few members still around drinking and chatting. You spotted Chibs sitting at the bar, and smiled to yourself, knowing he'd give you shit for…well, everything. 

Chibs looked up from his beer when you sat down next to him, brows raising in curiosity and mischief. But he said nothing, waiting for you to set the tone of the conversation.

So, with a defeated sigh, you did exactly that, ¨Go ahead, lay it on me¨. 

The scot laughed, but did not miss his chance. ¨Ya two were putting on quite the show out there, I thought you were gonna rip each other's clothes off on the spot¨.

You just laughed, what else was there to do?. ¨That bad huh?¨

The scot had a look in his eyes that could only be matched by a kid on Christmas morning, he had clearly missed having you around to give you a hard time. And he clearly had some more to add, ¨Oh, it was damn near pornographic. The way-¨

¨Oookay okay, i know i was there, remember?¨, he seemed pleased with himself watching your face redden under the dim lighting of the clubhouse. 

He turned a bit more serious, even if still wearing a shit-eating grin on his face. He hesitated before speaking again.

¨Seriously, though? I thought I was watching one of those cheesy movies you like. Next thing I know you´ll be confessin´your true love on a beach at night¨

You scoffed a laugh, but answered nothing. This was his way of telling you there was more than sexual tension there, and that he did not think it was a bad idea to pursue whatever else was brewing between you tonight. But of course Chibs liked you together, they all did, because you leveled Jax. When you dated he got into fewer fights, he didn't make reckless decisions, and he was in a better mood, which everyone thanked. The other side wasn't so pretty, knowing you'd always come second to his brothers, worrying about him whenever he was on a run, patching him up after, learning how to shoot and defend yourself `just in case`,...

Did you love him? Of course you did, that was the only reason you put up with it, until it became too much. You couldn't let yourself get dragged back into all of it. 

Jax was the kind of guy everyone wants to date: charming, hot, loving, all that mixed with the rush of the danger that came along with being a part of the club. Everyone doesn't know what it feels like, alone in your bed at 3 am, wondering if the cops got them, or the deal went wrong and they´re in a fight, or if he's dead on the side of the road. 

Chibs could almost hear your brain whirring and clicking, so he mentioned someone he knew you wouldn't resist talking about. ¨Gemma was about ready to explode¨.

You tried, and failed, not to laugh, ¨She burst in the room while I was cleaning Jax up¨.

Chibs matched your vibe instantly. No matter how much he loved Gemma, she'd been awful to you since day one, playing a main role in your breakup. So yeah, he´d relish a bit in her misery.

¨Wish I could've seen her face¨, he laughed, ¨What'd she say?¨.

You straightened your back, imitating her body language, ¨I'm his mother and I know what's best for him¨. A quick laugh flew from your throat before speaking again, in your own voice this time. ¨ You know, the usual¨.

A silly smile, a gentle one, invaded your face. Chibs just gave you your own time to say whatever caused it. And you did, in a lower voice, as if saying it aloud would make it not be real.

¨He actually stood up to her, he defended me¨, biting your lip, as much as you tried, did nothing to hide the stupid grin plastered on your face. And for the bare fucking minimum that is.

A look of respect crossed his face, eyebrows rising in surprise. Before saying anything else, he took a sip of his beer, letting the revelation sink in.

¨Did he now? That takes some serious balls¨. You nodded, looking down at your hands with that stupid lovesick look still on your face. 

Only then you realized, you´d been patching him up, he was beat and he´d need meds. ¨Hey you got some painkillers? big guns, he's messed up¨.

His stare got serious for a second, going over what he had. After a few seconds he dug in the inside pocket of his kutte and handed you a plastic bag with around ten pills inside. As he opened his mouth to give you the indications, you got up, interrupting him. 

¨Bed rest, no alcohol, what else doc?¨. You felt like a student again, eagerly answering questions about what should be done with patients. 

A smirk played on his lips, wanting to get back at you for cutting him off. ¨I wouldn't encourage any `physical activities´ tonight, let the boy rest¨. Once again, the familiarity of being in a situation you´d been in a dozen times before stirred something inside you.

It was comforting in a way, it felt like home. 

And, as so many times in the past, you promised it wouldn't happen. The difference was that you meant it. Chibs´s knowing look followed you, he sensed the tension that still lingered between the two of you. He also knew you were more than capable of handling Jax, which meant he could go to bed and not give a fuck. At least for tonight.

You made your way to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and looked around for something to eat. You were tired and not in the mood for cooking, or a full meal, but Jax needed to eat something. He'd try to resist, he was awfully stubborn and he hated depending on people.

It was ironic really, he got himself into needing to be looked after. There was chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer, so after grabbing two spoons, you made your way back to Jax´s room. 

Chibs was no longer by the bar when you passed it, so you breathed deep and continued on your way. The shower was still running as you set the ice cream and water on the bedside table. It had been a long time, Jax was most likely standing there, letting the hot water soothe his aching muscles. Instead of disturbing him, you decided to lay on the bed. So you took off your shoes and closed your eyes, letting the humming of the shower relax you. 

After a good ten minutes the water stopped flowing, and shuffling sounds made their way to your ears.

Jax came out of the bathroom and stood on the doorway, honest surprise in his face at the sight in front of him. It had been a long time since you´d laid on his bed, especially so relaxed. 

Betting that he´d only be wearing a towel, you did not dare open your eyes, knowing the sight could be enough to send you into an early grave. His toned body wet, water dripping from his hair and beard onto his chest, down his abs, the towel low on his hips, a very visible happy trail,...

¨So you didn't fall down and drown¨, you simply stated.

Jax´s chuckle turned into a wince rather quickly, you furrowed your brows. You did not get a chance to ask how he was feeling when he retorted jokingly, ¨Managed to stay upright, darlin´, thanks for your concern¨

You felt it when he sat by your feet at the end of the bed, you also heard him groan. Finally opening your eyes, you offered some help. ¨Need a hand? Getting dressed?¨. The forming bruises on his back looked weirdly good, complimenting his tattoo.

Your question was met with silence as he glanced down at his body, probably trying to figure out a way to do it on his own.

There wasn't one, he was battered.

Jax chuckled wryly, admitting defeat. ¨My arms are sore and my ribs are killing me¨.

Of course he wouldn't admit to needing help, god he was like a kid sometimes. So you stood up and walked to his closet, hoping a little joke would make him feel better .

¨What are you feeling? casual chic? eleganza extravaganza? cocktail attire?¨. His dry laugh once again led to a wince, but his humour didn't falter, ¨I ain't´exactly feelin´up to a fashion show at the moment¨.

You shrugged, ¨As you like¨, grabbing grey sweatpants and a white shirt, ¨You ready?¨. He looked up at you when you made your way back to him, nodding slowly.

He took a deep breath as he sat straighter, ¨Ready as I´m gonna be¨. When he looked up at you, the vulnerability in his eyes got to your heart. You would've done anything to make him feel better, that had always been the issue. 

So you smiled at him, you couldn't help yourself. The cold nurse was long gone, you now were the girl that had fallen hard for him. ¨You´ve been worse, right? This is a walk in the park¨. Jax chuckled through the pain.

¨Been worse, I´ll give you that. A walk in the park might be an exaggeration¨, you caressed his shoulder as he kept talking, ¨I´m trying my best not to pass out and you´re here all smiles like you don't have a care in the world¨. 

¨You are what I care about right now¨. And before you could stop yourself, you were leaning in and pecking the side of his mouth. Sure, it wasn't a proper kiss, but still, what the fuck were you doing?.

Jax was clearly caught off guard, and when you stepped back a smile was tugging at the corner you´d just pecked.

¨You can't just go around doin´that¨, his voice was a bit hoarse, ¨I aint supposed to get excited right now, darlin´¨

The fact that he was joking was a good sign, but had nothing to do with the smile lingering on your face. ¨Okay, whatever, you know it wasn't like that¨, you laughed, handing him the sweatpants.

You kept on bossing him around as you made your way back to his closet, ¨Put those on and I´ll help you with the shirt¨, you looked over your shoulder at the bruise on his ribs and muttered under your breath, ¨That´ll be trickier¨.

You paid more attention to his groans than the clothes you were picking to change into, and decided he was fine. As fine as he could, given the circumstances. 

Jax finally managed to get the sweatpants over his hips, not missing a chance to rile you up when he noticed what you were doing. ¨You´re not stealing my clothes when I am on the verge of death, are you?¨.

The amusement in his voice made you smile, ¨Well I'm not sleeping like this¨, you vaguely gestured to your dress.

He loved the idea of you sleeping next to him, wearing his clothes. ¨You could always sleep naked¨. He spoke low enough that you had to make an effort to hear him, turning around to see his grin. And that may have been a bad move, a flash of the past crossing your mind…Jax, giving you that same grin, from between your thighs. 

Somehow you managed to answer casually, not letting your true feelings show, ¨You´re not supposed to get excited, remember?¨

¨´course I remember, it doesn't mean i can appreciate the view¨. Something more important than the banter between you came up, a pair of leggings. Not any pair, your favourite ones. The ones you haven't been able to find since the breakup. ¨They were here all this time?¨

Jax chuckled, knowing how much you loved them. ¨Found ´em a few months ago¨, the ghost of a smile danced on his face, ¨Looks like they found their way back to you¨

You bit your lip, pleased with your finding, and pulled out a zip-up hoodie, ¨I think this will be easier to put on¨

You walked up to him, ¨Okay let's go¨, and put his right arm through the sleeve. He didn't complain, so you did the other one. ¨Want me to zip it up?¨.

Jax just nodded, breathing through the pain in his ribs. 

When you were done, you opened his side of the bed, ¨Get in, I´ll be right back¨

You watched as he slowly laid down, playfully pouting at you. ¨You really gonna leave me all alone?¨

You hummed, ¨Yeah, give you some time to think about what you did¨. You heard his chuckle as you went in the bathroom and closed the door.

You changed into your leggings and the shirt you´d originally gotten for him and looked in the mirror. You honestly looked way better than you expected, so you washed your face and took the fangs off. 

Jax looked up when he heard the doorknob twisted, and he had to stop himself from smiling when he saw you. His heart ached to have you back in his life. He nodded at the space next to him and you made your way over, grabbing the ice cream on the way. He didn't need to hear it to know you wanted him to eat something, even if he did not feel like it, so he took that to his advantage. He grabbed the ice cream and patted the bed next to him. ¨I´ll eat if you lay down with me¨

You both knew you couldn't say no to him, so why even try? You sat next to him, handing Jax one of the spoons and burying your own on the ice cream tub. He kissed your temple, ¨Thanks for taking care of me, I know I can be stubborn¨.

Finally you accepted it , you were in too deep, and you didn't care. Maybe tomorrow morning you would, you'd regret everything. ¨You really are insufferable, baby¨.

Both of your hearts jumped at the pet name, yet decided to play it nonchalant, focusing on the ice cream. 

¨I aint that bad, just a little stubborn is all¨. His playful look was met with your incredulous one, ¨A bit-?¨.

He laughed, knowing he was an absolute ass at times, ¨Dont lie, you love it¨.

Shaking your head at his smugness, you handed him two pills.  ¨Please, knock yourself out¨.

A little while after taking them, Jax felt the pain starting to dull and his head getting drowsy. Still, he tried to stay awake, to enjoy five more minutes of your company. Even if that was just laying next to you while you ate the whole ice cream. 

¨You really think I´m that bad, huh?¨. He mumbled, a smile on his face.

You placed the empty container on the bedside table and laid on your side, looking at him. ¨Not at all¨, your voice was barely above a whisper.  

Jax´s eyelids were heavy, the meds really starting to work, you could tell he was making an effort to keep his eyes from closing. 

¨I'd hate to have you think I am an insufferable ass¨.

You´d already fucked up by ending in his bed, so what was another tiny mistake? You leaned in and softly kissed him, whispering against his lips. ¨Well yeah, but you´re my insufferable ass¨.

His heart skipped a beat, he gently kissed you, one of his hands softly grazing your hip. ¨Damn you¨. What he wanted to damn, more than you, was the effect you still had on him.

You bumped your nose against his, teasing him. ¨Nice thing to say after I took care of you¨.

He snorted, now laying on his back. ¨You know what I mean¨, he gave you a lazy smile, ¨Not fair, kissin´me when I'm high and can't do nothin´about it¨.

He looked relaxed from the side, you could tell he was almost asleep, ¨You got bigger things to worry about¨.

The ever-present smirk on his face did not falter, ¨Do I now, like what?¨.

God, how he managed to still be so cocky you would never understand. You were a close second though, only giving him a pointed look for an answer. And he knew what you meant, of course he did, but how could he not tease you a little?

He put the best innocent facade he could muster before side eyeing you, ¨You´re gonna have to be a little more specific, darlin´¨ .

You just laughed under your breath, ¨What a fucking ass¨.

He was a sucker for you, living for moments like these, living for you. ¨Aren't you supposed to be nursing me back to health?¨, you were scooting closer before you knew it, ¨And here I thought you were doing it because you care about me or somethin´¨.

¨Oh my god how long do these meds take to work¨, you playfully teased, ¨there are no laws against insulting you while I heal you, baby¨.

¨You´re a real piece of work, y´know that?¨, he was slurring, the pills finally getting to him. 

You just shushed him, caressing his face, ¨Sleep now¨.

Jax could barely fight it, but he found the strength to ask you one last thing. ¨You´re not gonna disappear on me while I sleep, are you?¨.

You didn't let yourself think about it for too long before reassuring him that you'd stay. He finally fell into a deep, medicated sleep. When the stress was finally gone, you realized how tired you actually felt. It did not take long for you to close your eyes and drift off next to him.

About six hours later, a pair of blue eyes slowly opened under furrowed brows. The first thing Jax had felt when consciousness returned to him had been pain. It wouldve been very romantic that you were the first thing on his mind, sure, but that´s just not how life works sometimes. 

The ribs on his left side, his fists, the back of his head, it was as if every single part of him was hurting.

Your stirring finally reminded him of…well, everything that had happened. Its not that he didnt remember what had happened, but considering he hit his head Jax just assumed it had been a dream. 

It hadnt though.

You looked peaceful, the ghost of a smile gracing your lips. You´d looked beautiful last night, but this was better. No worry lines on your face, no furrowed brows, just a smile. 

Cute as this moment was, his body had other plans. Jax slowly sat up, trying not to wake you. It was hard, even through his gritted theet, he could not help but groan. 

You rubbed your eyes, barely able to get words out of yourself. ¨Hey, hey, hey dont move¨.

All his feelings of gratitude and desire to prove he was a better man were quickly overrun by annoyance at his own aching body, ¨I know¨, his back was facing you. 

¨But I gotta piss¨. His voice was rough and a little aggressive, you just sighed and laid back on the bed.

The blond may not have evolved, but you sure had. You matched his passive aggression and just stayed there, eyes closed, pretending to sleep. Some time ago, you´d have force fed him painkillers and treated him carefully, but that wasnt you anymore. Not the sober you anyways.

So, after a couple tries, he had no choice but to ask for your assistance. ¨Help me up?¨. A few second of deafening silence. ¨Please¨

Your lips stil sealed and half asleep, you went to his side and let him use you as a crouch. Jax heavily leaned on you, trying hard to keep silent. Determined to pretend he was fine. 

There was a flaw on his plan, he needed your help to make it to the bathroom.

Based on experience this was just his body warming up, after a little movement he´d be all right on his own. Almost.

¨Feels like a truck run me over¨, he tried to joke. His shitty morning attitude had bothered you so you kept quiet. 

That was until you were halfway to the bathroom and all of his weight was on you, risking his mood worsening, you asked. ¨Want me to get one of the boys?¨

That struck a nerve, someone seeing him weak? No way. He tensed up and stopped walking. 

¨I can do it myself¨, you could barely hear him through his gritted teeth. 

Fearing your reaction if you pushed it, you scoffed and urged him to keep moving. He played it tough, stubborn as he was. Anyone couldve been able to tell that he was in a lot of pain.

Jax looked at your face for the first time when he leaned on the doorframe, his voice was soft when he spoke, even if his words were not. ¨I can take it from here¨.

Raising your hands in surrender, you took a step back. Your voice was cold when you said he had more pills on the bedside table.

You left, mad at him, mad at you. Mad. Just plain mad. 

The biker grunted, closing the door and leaning on the sink, knowing had pissed you off. He did look like shit, pale skin and tired eyes. Jax cursed under his breath, he couldnt bear the thought of anyone seeing him like this, not even you. 

Especially not you.

That´s something you´d never been truly quite grasped. It wasnt so much a macho thing, not with you. When it came to you, it wasnt about bravado. It was about making someone he loved suffer, the hurt in your eyes when they went over his bruises, … A hurt he did not know how to comfort. 

You made your way to the kitchen, expecting it to be empty. If the beginning of the morning had been bad, what would come after was way worse. Gemma was sitting down having a coffee, and you couldn´t stop the groan that crossed your lips.

Gemma smiled slyly, the battle you´d won the prior night fresh in her mind. Fake sweetness laces her voice as you made your way to the coffee maker, ¨Well, well, look who it is¨.

¨Yeah, yeah¨. You didnt even bother wasting energy on her, knowing you´d need it with her hot headed son. 

She sipped her coffee as you put sugar on your own. Her sharp eyes studied your every move, looking for the perfect way to get under your skin, to gather the information she needed. 

If you hadnt known her, you´d have thought the concern in her voice was sincere. 

¨You look tired, sweetheart¨.

Again, no fight in you, everything about you was neutral, even your tone. ¨He just woke up¨, you dryly added.

She wanted to know what had happened, where your relationship stood. You wanted to erase the past night from your brain. 

Gemma´s eyes gleamed as she sensed the tension coming off of you. There was no doubt as far as whose fault that was.

¨And how is he?¨. You sat up on the counter, leaning your head back against the cabinets. ¨You know how he is¨.

 She just smirked, sipping from her mug. ¨Stubborn as a damn mule¨.

Silently, you nodded. Eyes closed, head thrown back, you almost felt calm. Almost. The matriarch studied you quietly. If your eyes had been open you would have seen something close to pride on them. Gemma herself had never been able to pinpoint what exactly she disliked about you. Because it was not you . Your personality, she liked, you were fiery. You could handle her son and you perfectly managed with the rest of the men of the club. Had she been honest with herself, you were too good for this life, it dimmed your light. She had seen you around town with your friends, you looked happier when you didnt have a criminal to worry about constantly.

She rested her forearms on the table, cocking her head as she spoke. ¨Can I ask you something?¨.

There was no spite in her words, and her face seemed softer than you could remember ever seeing it.

For a second you played with the idea of her liking you, being there for you when Jax was being an immature jerk or putting himself in danger. You quickly dismissed it, it wouldnt do you any good to dwell on that. 

You sounded almost playful when you answered, ¨I have a feeling youre gonna ask anyways¨.

She chuckled, you both knew each other all too well to be playing this game. ¨Why are you back?¨.

Once again, no bite behind her question, just plain curiosity. You straightened your position on the counter so you could have a proper conversation. ¨Whats your point?¨. No bite didnt mean you were friends of course, you were still weary.

¨Jax´s better off without you¨, she did not seem as sure of this statement as a few seconds before. Your brows furrowed, defending her son was a pivotal point of Gemma. ¨You two arent good for each other…¨.

It felt like she was holding something back, yet you couldnt figure out what it could possibly be. Gemma´s voice was soft when she finished her sentence, ¨…he makes you into something you´re not¨.

She quickly went back to her usual demeanour, leaning back on her chair, ¨You know it and so do I¨.

It somehow felt like you were walking into something, but not a trap, not exactly. You moved from your spot on the counter to a chair in front of Gemma, and took a sip of coffee before giving into whatever was happening. 

¨What´s that supposed to mean? He makes me into something I´m not?¨. You knew, you agreed, and your eyes reflected it.

But this could not be played as a bonding moment between the two of you, neither of you were ready to navigate that type of relationship. 

¨My boy turns you into a mess, all upset and emotional¨, she eyed your face up and down, ¨exhausted¨. 

Well, yeah, you were stressing over Jax, you´d done that for the whole time you´d dated. What else were you supposed to do when your boyfriend was VP of a literal gang? You worry, that's what you do.

On the other hand, she was right and you couldnt deny it. He turned you into an unstable version of yourself, a not-so-cheery you, … No one could deny that after the initial shock when the breakup happened, you´d had a glow up. It wasnt something physicall, it was all of you. You were relaxed, you were happier. Even if you missed Jax and the bad days felt like absolute shit. If you were honest with youself, that was normal after losing someone important in your life, not a sign that you truly wanted to get back with him.

Gemma could see the turmoil of doubt in your eyes, and maye a little bit of her in you? Getting pregnant had played an important part on her staying with her first husband but what wouldve happened if she hadn´t? And what would happen to you if you stayed? She knew how the club corrupted everyone it touched, and you had managed to escape that once.  Would you be lucky enough to do it twice?

She got up and, before leaving, she added, ¨You already spend your days nursing people back to health¨. You didnt need to be doing it as an extracurricular activity too…

Alone in the kitchen, you finished your coffee, a million thoughts racing in your head. It got too much and you needed space from anything to do with the club. Rushing to the room, you mentally checked where you had left your clothes and purse the night before. 

The room was not empty, he was in the bed. It didnt take long to notice he was asleep. Thank god. 

The pills were nowhere to be seen, so he would not wake up. You hopped in the shower, the hot water numbing your thoughts. Alone in the bathroom, Gemma´s words resonated with you. You forcefully tried to stop that train of thought when your heart started to beat faster and faster. 

Somewhere deeep inside you, you wanted to push Jax away, to protect yourself. He still had a grip on your heart, but that only meant he could still hurt you. What had ahppened last night after all? What had happened this morning?

You dry yourself and put your leggings back on, the shirt still smells like Jax when it goes over your head. You pretend it doesn´t affect you. You grab a gym bag from Jax´s closet and put all of your things inside it.

The tought that leaving with so much of his stuff would probably mean at least another call does cross your mind. You quickly banish it as you put on your heels, not having another shoe option. 

Jax looks innocent when he´s sleeping, no tension on his face, you place a kiss on his cheek. A goodbye? You did not know. 

You chuckle when you look at your outfit on the mirror, the true definition of a walk of shame.

Breathing deeply, you look at him one last time, and walk out. On your way to look for a taxi, you come across Gemma.

No words are exanged, but your eyes are enough. For both of you. It was never about hatred. 

Anxiety swarms your mind as you exit the Sons´ property, would you ever be sure that this had been the right decision? 

[flieslikeamoron]

For the ask meme, if you're still doing it! I wish you would write a fic where either Eddie or Steve can read the other's mind, or feel their emotions, or are otherwise psychically linked in some way. :)

Hiiiii! At one point I was thinking about writing a soul bond type of thing where the bat bites create a hive mind that Steve and Eddie share. Your ask reminded me of the idea so I wrote a little bit of what that could have been like. Some dicks and stuff behind the cut.

-*-

It’s not that weird.

Sure, it’s a little strange Steve always seems to know when Eddie pulls into the parking lot at Family Video. Even if he’s in the back room, couldn’t possibly have heard the rattle of the van’s rusted muffler. 

And yes, he can tell when Eddie’s hungry. Thirsty. Tired. Can tell without asking if he’s craving a burger or spaghetti. Can tell where Eddie is in a room without looking. Can feel it like a magnet pulling. But he knows when Robin’s hungry just by looking too. Or when she has a crush on someone. He knows when Nancy’s fed up or trying not to laugh. He knows when Dustin’s about to go off on some nerd rant before he starts talking. 

It’s just because they’re friends now. That has to be why he feels so much better when Eddie’s around. Like something he didn’t know was missing clicking into place. That’s friendship, isn’t it? 

It’s not that weird. 

Not compared to all the shit they’ve been through. It’s nice, actually, the way Eddie smiling at him sinks deep into him like sunshine on his skin. The way Eddie’s pacing footsteps or the drumming of his fingers on the counter thumps in a rhythm against Steve’s chest. Even when Eddie’s pissed, it rattles like rain on a tin roof in a way Steve kind of likes. 

It’s just because Steve likes him. It’s not a big deal that he hasn’t felt exactly like this about any of the other people he’s friends with. Any of the people he loves. Different isn’t bad. There’s no reason to mention it. What would he even say? Do you know when I’m thirsty too? Do you feel like a lock turning when you touch me? That does make it sound weird. And what if Eddie says no. What if Eddie has no idea what he’s even talking about. 

No, Steve will just give him a Coke when he knows Eddie wants a Coke. And bask in the smile that gets him. There’s no reason to bring it up. To make it weird.

Until.

It comes out of nowhere, heat building low in his gut when Steve’s in the middle of putting his laundry away. He’s got the phone trapped between his ear and his shoulder, Robin on the other end giving him a play-by-play of her latest not-date with Vicki. He puts the rest of his jeans away, trying to ignore how turned on he is for no apparent reason. But there’s something fucked up about having Robin’s voice in his ear while he’s popping a boner. 

“I gotta go,” he interrupts. “Sorry, I forgot I have to-” He tries to think of something he could be doing that’s not jerking off.

“Am I boring you?”

“No I just-” He stops again. This time because he has the oddest feeling. Almost the feeling of a hand on him. Of fingers pinching into his nipple. It’s never really done much for him, having his nipples played with. But a pulse of heat goes right through his balls. He curls a hand thoughtlessly against his boner, feeling the needy weight of it. “I’ll call you in a sec.” He can hear Robin protesting as he hangs up and tosses the phone aside. 

She calls right back, but he lets it ring. Too busy tugging his pants down. He can’t explain anyway. That he just really needs to get off right now. It’s rude as hell. He doesn’t know why he’s- But he’s so turned on. He’ll make it up to her after he gets this out of his system. 

He tugs his underwear down enough to get his dick out, starting to stroke himself with one hand, the other braced on his dresser. He likes to start slow normally, get himself worked up, but he feels strung tight as if he’s already been at it for a while. He spits in his hand, spreads precome down the shaft. Watching his hand move, the head of his dick red and slick in the circle of his fingers. 

There’s something wrong with his vision, something sort of blurry like a double exposure in a photograph. He blinks. It’s like the almost there of another hand, that’s not his hand. Of a dick that’s not his dick. He can almost feel it ghost against his skin when that hand moves, off rhythm with his. It’s making his dick throb, gut snarled tight with heat. It’s making him dizzy. He closes his eyes, and tries to focus on the slide of his hand. Just his hand. Tries to picture Phoebe Cates getting out of the pool. Perfect boobs and a slo-mo smile. But the picture in his head feels impossible to hold on to. Feels like he can’t- 

And then he’s seeing himself a little hazy and far away like looking through clear water. It’s him pulling himself out of the pool in his swim team speedos. Muscles flexing. Water streaming off him. Hand running through his own wet hair, and a cocky grin on his face. 

And okay, he knows he’s a good-looking guy. But he’s not- His ego isn’t this big. This isn’t the him he sees in the mirror. It’s sort of- Everything a little better than he actually is. The him he wishes he was. 

He didn’t- The shape of it feels wrong inside his head, like it doesn’t fit right. But he’s watching himself sitting down now, at the edge of the pool. And there's someone still in the water. There are hands on his thighs. A mouth on his cock. He can’t see much of the other person but long, dark, wet hair. He can almost feel it, the heat of that mouth on his cock. The sizzle of it through his mind going straight to his balls. And every time he strokes himself it’s like he feels it in his dick, and then he feels it again somehow like an echo throbbing through him. An overwhelming feedback loop of want and need and how good it feels. God. Fuck. I’m gonna come. He is gonna come, but he hears it against the inside of his head, and it doesn’t sound like him. It sounds like-

“Eddie?” he says cautiously. Out loud and in his head too.

He feels a quick stab of shock, fear. It feels like the rest of it. Sort of the wrong shape inside his body, inside his head. And then it’s like he’s got a song stuck in his head, but it’s a heavy metal song he’s never heard before. 

“Eddie?” He thinks it harder. Tries to make it a scream, send it out past the inside of his own head. But the music keeps going, the noise of it so loud he can hardly think past it, can’t hear past it to whatever Eddie’s thinking behind it. That is Eddie behind it though, he’s pretty sure. That was Eddie just now. The things Steve was feeling. That was what Eddie was thinking about while he was getting off. He was thinking about Steve. 

Steve should be more weirded out by that, probably. Knowing he’s starring in Eddie Munson’s wet dreams is a bit of a surprise. He didn’t even know Eddie’s gay. He waits to feel shocked or upset, but outside of being kind of confused how any of this is even happening, he doesn’t seem to mind it. It’s a compliment, really. If that’s the way Eddie sees him. He kind of likes it, actually, in a deep down, self-satisfied way that makes him wonder if he does need to work on his ego after all. 

He feels vaguely guilty that he accidentally ruined the guy’s jerk off session. He looks down at his hand on his dick. He’s not sure if he should finish now. It’s like stolen valor or something. Is he even horny or was he just piggy-backing? However he got here, he’s still pretty close. He gives himself a couple careful strokes. Can Eddie feel that? Or was it just a one way connection? He heard it when Steve thought his name though. The heavy metal is still fucking blasting, so maybe he can’t hear or feel Steve past that just like Steve can’t hear him. He doesn’t know if he should risk it though. 

It’s pretty fucking weird.

The kind of weird he can’t ignore. 

He takes a cold shower, the heavy metal stuck in his head starting to give him a headache. Could you turn it down a little? he tries thinking. If it gets through to Eddie, he ignores it. Steve tries to figure out if there’s a way to turn down the volume on his end. Putting his fingers in his ears doesn’t help. He tries counting backward from a hundred and that seems like it does something, sort of. But as soon as he stops counting he can hear the music just as loud. Maybe Eddie will turn it off on his own if Steve gives him a little time to stop freaking out. 

He’s got to be freaking out. Having the dude you’re jerking off about pop up in your head has to be the nightmare scenario of all time. But how is Steve supposed to tell him it’s cool if he won’t stop putting up a wall of sound?

Or maybe Steve could try something a little less direct than whatever this head to head connection is. He tries calling Eddie’s trailer. No answer. He tries the walkie. No answer.

He wonders if Eddie can tell he’s pulling into the trailer park like Steve can always tell when he’s pulling up the street to Steve’s house. Steve can feel it. That magnet tug as he walks up the stairs. That feeling just underneath his breast bone that always seems to orient toward Eddie like a compass pointing north. He wonders if Eddie can feel that too. 

But maybe he can’t, because he looks shocked when he opens the door. Wide-eyed for just a second. The music breaks apart in Steve’s head enough that he can feel fear, just for a second. Less than that. Barely long enough to notice if he hadn’t been paying attention. And then the music starts up again, and whatever Eddie’s feeling is hidden behind it. Behind the easy laugh as he reaches out to thump Steve on the chest with the back of his hand like normal. Says, “You couldn’t call?” like Steve didn’t. Says, “You’re lucky I don’t have a life,” and tugs Steve in through the doorway. Like normal. 

For a moment Steve thinks maybe it was all in his head. Maybe he’s just like- Losing it. Maybe he's making up weird shit and thinking he and Eddie have some kind of psychic connection and hearing things that aren’t there and seeing things that aren’t there. Maybe none of it is real. And there’s nothing weird here except him. 

But there’s music in his head. And he doesn’t know this song.

[moonlight-tmd]

Hi

I'm a little bit possessed by the headcanon that Longarm as an individual bot had existed at some point and he was working with many autobots before he was captured by Shockwave, who stole his frame.

I LOVE dancing around the idea that Shockwave was controlling someone's dead body, using it as a shell to camouflage.

Just imagine that somewhere in a secret laboratory, on the operating table, there is still a disassembled bot, from which the frame was taken, the optics were taken,the voicebox were taken, but the hearing was left so that he could hear all the reasons why he could never return to his friends again and could not do anything about it.

Yes, Shockwave would definitely tell him what he has done in details.

One more thing!

Shockwave is a mnemosurgeon, right? I'm sure he had been messing with Longarm's brain many times in order to get information about bots or behavior that he must comply with.

Anon... you have just send me the worst path of angst-filled romance i've ever imagined.

It's so sad- like, imagine you meet someone you were close to and they seem different than the last time you met them. Everything just seems so off but you don't know what...

Bumblebee and Longarm have started their friendship in boot camp. Even thought they were quite different from one another they got along perfectly and knew so much about the other without even asking.

Then one day Bee had to switch programs due to trouble he caused and was doomed to repair crew training just outside the campus. He snuck in whenever he could do meet with Longarm but eventually he had to leave cuz the program was finished.

They stayed in contact all the time, Bee messaged Long when he was working and Long called whenever he had breaks from lectures and training. But then everything went dead on Bee's end... the crew he was assigned in was declared missing. Longarm swore that he'll find them- he'll find Bee- once he becomes part of the Guard.

Years passed and there was nothing, Longarm did his duty and earned a status raise. During one of his missions the ship was attacked by a fleet of Decepticons, most of the crew were found either dead or missing. Except the temporary captain of the ship, Longarm. He was found wandering the wastelands cycles after the tragedy.

In the meantime Bee was missing his companion, even tho he was in stasis so long it felt like a nap, but the few years he spend on Earth felt like eternity stretching on. They had no contact with outer space nor anyone who could help them, their only chance was to wait and hope someone picks up a signal from their crashed and sunken ship. He wished to see Longarm again, to chat with him and hug him once more.

And his wish was granted since Elite Guard with Sentinel on board was came to the planet to investigate, and Longarm was on board...

He couldn't contain his excitement when he saw him and ran to him, embracing all he could reach. He was so excited and happy but when he looked Longarm in the optics- something was off.

It was the same as he remembered, the eyes, the smile, the voice... yet something didn't feel right. Even when he spoke the same way Longarm spoke to him it still felt different. Even in private when Longarm was much more relaxed and open Bee felt it.

Longarm was a prime now, much higher position than when he last heard from him. it would make sense he's gotten more mature and busy in the important tasks and not have much time for his friends but Bee expected something more when they met...

He knew people's relations change when they're far apart or not in contact for long, he knew how little it was for him to be in stasis and how long Longarm had to live thru without him... he really hoped it wasn't the case.

He yearned for the moment where Longarm would hug him unexpectedly or call him one of the nicknames they used in boot camp but it never came...

Decepticon activity on earth was growing stronger, both Elite Guard and Team Prime was working together to hold off the enemy. Still, it was most often than not that the teams followed their own plan instead of coming with a shared one, Sentinel could never talk with Optimus peacefully. Bee was assigned to infiltrate the landing site of the ships that recently came to earth.

Things have been going smoothly, at least until he spotted a familiar face wandering the zone. Longarm was there, seemingly doing the same as he. Bee wanted to call him over but he hesitated, he had questions and he needed to know the answers... He knew it was wrong but he stayed back, watching what the Prime was up to.

He watched him wander around a bit before boarding one of the ships, he discreetly followed and hid inside. He was talking with someone, but he couldn't see who. The conversation was interrupted by a sound of a turbine powering on and ship's system activating. They were taking off. Bee tried to get away but he had no way of safely booking it to the exit, before he knew they were leaving the orbit. He couldn't contact his teammates, something in the ship was blocking all signal. He chose to stay in hiding for however long the ride took.

It was few hours until they landed, Bee had managed to slip out and hide inside the hidden facility on a small planet. The more he wandered the more he realized that the facility in question was one big crazy workshop. He found Longarm once more and followed him, he planned to confront him about whatever was going on but it all came to a full stop soon...

He followed Longarm but lost him just few moments later, he didn't have enough time to look around when he heard someone else coming his way. He hid inside one of the rooms- it was a laboratory. Wires and computers hanging from walls, tools scattered on various tables, and parts... actual mech parts along with vials of energon neatly put aside.

He had mere seconds to hide when the doors opened and Longarm walked in, holding something. He was talking to someone,.. Bee managed to peek out of his hiding- he saw Longarm standing near the medical station, the same one Bee was crouched next to a moment ago, but this time Bee could see what was on it; there on the diagonally angled table laid a wreck of a mech. Longarm talked to him sweetly, almost like one would with a pet, telling him all about team prime and elite guard and his tasks... Bee felt his own frame going cold at the scene, listening to every word Long said in silence...

But what happened next truly made his tanks drop; Longarm's frame shifted and merely a second later stood a Decepticon in it's place. It continued speaking about recent events and tests... eventually ending one of his sentences with the same name he's been using. "...won't you agree with me, Longarm?"

Another mech entered the lab, calling out to the Decepticon. They both left and slowly, Bee crawled out of his hiding spot. His optics landed on the remains of the mech on the table...

Its limbs were gone, uninstalled in a professional way, more than half of its plating gone revealing the skeletal-alike structure inside and vital mechanisms, parts missing and empty slots left in their place,... its helm was baren and cables plugged to processor slots, facial parts uninstalled to prevent recognition more so contact from the mech...

Bee looked at the unfortunate mech, unknown feeling swirling in his spark... he found himself focusing on details left behind; the specific attachments at shoulders, size and layout of the inner support, the headlamp remaining on its head but most importantly the spark... it pulsed is it's casing, uneven, scared... yet the feeling of its light was unmistakable.

Fear and sorrow had overtaken Bee as he realized this was his Longarm. The one and only.

Shaking, he reached out his servo and as gently as he could placed his digits on the mech's cheek structure. Bee could feel him shiver under the touch, he couldn't hold his tears as he uttered the same he's been misusing the whole time. "...Longarm?"

It was dark and quiet, he lost all senses so long ago and has felt nothing but fear since, all he ever knew was the enemy digging his claws into his mind and tearing it apart bit by bit. He wanted to die, he only wished to be killed and taken to the Well... but then there was a voice. Soft and warm, one he always would recognize, but now oh so agonizingly broken. He almost didn't believe it, he didn't want to fall for another lie, but his spark, oh his spark could feel another presence and it was not the enemy he always felt on him... he tried to speak, to call, to yell, let out any sound but all he could was force static electricity out his unconnected cables, hissing the desperate words he could not say.

"What did he do to you?" Bee wanted to cry, to wail and embrace the broken mech but the sounds of others approaching snapped him out. He couldn't stay here, no matter how much he wanted. "I'm sorry, i have to go. I'll come back for you, I promise." He whispered into Longarm's audial before being forced to hide again. The two mechs returned and started working on something away from the door, allowing Bee to slip out and run. He will come back for Longarm, he'll bring help and save him. He had to...

He found his way onto the take off platform, desperate to find a way back home. He found a small ship, capable of being operated by one bot. Starting it off turned out to be harder that he thought, just as he was taking off the alarm sounded from the facility. He fled and managed to get past the orbit but his hopes to escape were cut short as the ship was shot down...

Bee woke up in a medbay, much unlike the one he saw in the facility. He was confused and skittish but then Sentinel walked in. Bee was found adrift in space by a space patrol and brought onto Steelhaven. Sentinel wanted to know what he was doing so far away from earth but Bee never answered his questions. Soon after he was treated he was let out to contact his team in the control centre but just when they were leaving the medical sector the other mech approached... the fake Longarm.

Bee's energon boiled as the his pained processor forced back what he saw and he charged at the mech with his stinger. Other Elite Guard had to hold him down as he went into frenzy out of nowhere and screamed incoherently at Longarm. He was put in stasis and locked in medbay until they arrived at earth.

The word around the ship spread out and soon Jazz was looking into the situation. Bee was his friend and knew that it wasn't like him to go crazy like that... Against Sentinel's orders to let this situation be handled by him he went and under no one's watch woke Bee up from stasis. Bee was panicked and it took Jazz a little bit before he could speak with him- Bee was muttering something about him overhearing and Jazz didn't know what it meant until Bee broke and told him everything he saw. Jazz was beyond shocked, he wanted to help but Bee insisted to not tell anyone they don't trust 100% as the info would spill back to the spy.

They came up with a plan. They snuck out during shift-change hours and stole an emergency pod. It wasn't long before the systems alerted the crew of its deployment, Bee barely managed to steer them out of the radar. Bee managed to call his team with the emergency signal. They were all so shocked and worried about him, it's been nearly a week since they lost contact with him and things weren't looking good back on Earth. Bee told them what he found, who he found and everything else in one desperate breath.

"I knew something was wrong. I knew it! I- Primus why didn't I do anything- why--" He knew something was off and he never did anything. By the Allspark why didn't he do something?! Jazz was quick to notice the sudden meltdown Bee was having and comforted him while Team Prime listened over the call.

Bee knew Longarm for a long time, he was the best mech he's ever met. Longarm was very dear to him, the two shared so many intimate moments back in boot camp. Longarm always looked at him with such adoration before calling him the sweet nicknames only he was allowed to say. They've known more about one another than the time they spend together and yet, both of them knew it was more than just simple love. Bee felt so guilty for ignoring the warning signs and getting fooled by the mimic.

The two told them their plan to get the real Longarm back, Bee knew the coordinates of the facility. All of them were much against only the two of them going but Bee assured them they were gonna be alright and that they need to work on getting the fake Longarm arrested.

It wasn't too long before they arrived back at the facility, after scanning the area from the orbit they made a quick and stealthy landing and got inside the facility. While Jazz worked on getting the alarm systems down Bee made his way back into the same laboratory. He rushed to his beloved and worked on getting him off this damned machinery. He carefully unplugged all the cables and binds keeping him there while hastily whispering words of comfort to Long. There wasn't any designed way to move him but Bee managed to get him onto the supply wagon along with the energon IVs. It was then that hell broke loose. Jazz was trying his best to keep the guards away so Bee can make the escape. Soon they were both running thru the corridors dodging blaster shots and other guards ahead. Jazz held them off while Bee got Longarm into the pod and started the engine. Jazz managed to make it just in time before Bee blasted off back home... but during that he got a serious injury. Once they were set on steady course Bee hurried back to them and patched him the best he could but Jazz was still losing energon quick... Bee panicked and scrambled to do anything to help, the pod shook at it got caught by an EM magnet and pulled into the slot of the bigger ship. When the doors opened Bee was greeted by the lesser crew of Steelhaven.

They took the injured mechs to medbay at once and set course back to Earth while Bee sat there, waiting anxiously for the outcome... When Bee saw Optimus ran into the control centre he bursted into tears, mumbling apologies over and over. Optimus just held him, glad that he was okay and safe. Soon the whole team reunited. Bee learned what battle ensued during his mission and that the fake Longarm was caught trying to scrap agent Blurr. The majority of Steelhaven crew was down on Earth with Team Prime, Optimus has let them know of what Bee discovered therefore they were able to catch the impostor. Ratchet was more than glad to disassemble every single part of Longarm's off this scrapheap's frame. (According to Jazz, he was fine and Prowler was worrying about nothing... which earned him a slap to the helm.)

It was weeks before the Longarm was ready to function again, Bee has stayed by his side every moment of it. When Longarm first woke up he was still adjusting to coordination and speaking, when he saw Bee again he tried to move towards him. Bee leapt off the seat and embraced Longarm for the first time in forever while Longarm tried so hard to hug him back as his voicebox garbled noises in attempt to speak to him.

Bee stayed by Longarm's side every day and night, he spoke to him and told him what happened. Longarm told his story the best he could- he still had a lot of recovery and rehabilitation to do but as long as Bee was there it would be okay.

The moment he was allowed to roam Sentinel came up to them informing him of the status and a high raise as a compensation for all he endured. But that didn't matter to anyone- "I don't want a compensation, I don't want a high rank... I quit. I'm staying here, with Bumblebee."

No matter how much Sentinel tried to persuade him to stay, that he shouldn't make serious decisions like that when still recovering, it was all for nothing. Longarm filed the official resignation and Optimus welcomed him with open arms to his team.

Bee has said a lot about Longarm in the past and now that they had real Longarm with them they were more that happy to get to know him. They've redone Bee's room to house the two mechs together and Longarm couldn't have it any other way. He missed Bee so much.

Once everything has calmed down, when the city has been repaired they would go on a dates. Bee would show him around the city and all his favorite places. They would find a secluded area by the river and spend the entire day there until both of them would perform their conjunx ritus at sunset, just the two of them alone, like they always wanted...

And Shockwave would still be locked in a dark cell, missing parts and plating to cover the painful wounds no one ever bothered to fix fully.

You give me angst, I give you a fic-sized post. Hope you're happy.

Oh, and Wasp was never really in the picture, he got transferred to a higher program when Bee was forced to switch and no spy rumors ever existed. No murder hornets for them, my bro.

[skitskatdacat63]

Vettonso complaining about each other not respecting schrondinger's track limits on the radio compilation + Seb's commentary that made me a bit feral

Must include these sexy ass pics okay, it makes me feral how hard they race each other.

Also SO upset that we got this vid and there's also pictures(and presumably a vid out there somewhere) of Fernando, back then, ALSO debriefing this race. And yet we never got them together?????? Evil. Fucked up.

Imagine seeing them complaining about each other but also having to (begrudgingly if you're Fernando) compliment each other IN FRONT of each other. Maybe its a good thing it doesn't exist, bcs then I'd have a heart attack.

[sluckythewizard]

YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[balkanballad]

nationalism and patriotism are getting weirder and weirder concepts to me the older I get

[bmpmp3]

its a shame the um. everything. about the piapro superpack overshadowed the demos because they were pretty cute and fun, i really liked rokka sanka specifically - its such a fun cartoon idol franchise-y full cast song and i still get it stuck in my head all the time. kimi no moto eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee